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World’s oldest dildo found!

Hold the front page people, move over Cameron, back off Chelsea FC because news journalism just got serious. It's all thanks to a landmark archaeological finding that would make for an intriguing plot in the next Indiana Jones film.

According to ancient sex toy experts at the University of Tubingen, the world’s oldest dildo has been unearthed (told you it was ‘big’ news). The pleasure aid dates back 30,000 years and is made of stone, but the most intriguing finding is that it held a dual purpose. One was to give kicks to cavewoman (or even cavemen), the other to start fires. Translation: the eight-inch fake penis was used to strike against flints as well as to spark fire in the cave.

The dildo was made from siltsone and found in Ulm in Germany - (in case you were needing more info for a forthcoming movie Mr Steven Spielberg).

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