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Where have all the women gone?

A new survey of 150,000 bachelors living in rural communities reveals a growing frustration. Forget foot-and-mouth, blue tongue and whatever else. Men living in the country are frustrated… sexually.

Apparently, there are no women left in the countryside. They’ve all left the mud and muck of their farming communities behind for the bright lights of the city. Lucky lads in the city, not so lucky lads left back on the farm.

Think of the opportunities this presents, girls. If you’re tired of town, sick of dating complete bankers, and fancy a life altogether more wholesome, there are thousands of hunky – and by now, randy – farmers waiting to welcome you into their haylofts/milking parlours/butteries. Get stuck in!

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