Waiting on Lohan

Another celebrity, another rumoured sex tape. This time it’s poor old Lindsay Lohan, who for committing the crime of being a young woman who likes to get drunk and shag (and being a bit dense, from the sounds of it), she has been handed down the sentence of having every seedy huckster and scumbag on the West Coast of America trying to get footage of her doing what the press like to call ‘sex acts’. That would be having sex then.

In this case it’s not history’s greatest monster Callum Best who has it in his cynical frosty hands, but some waiter, who tried to hawk the 47 second-long clip to Hustler. They rejected it for copyright reasons, but told whoever it was to release it on an ‘offshore porn site’, meaning that soon there'll been millions of men hunched over their laptops engaging in an auto-sex act like safari park chimps. The wonders of the modern world, eh?

‘This video file is dynamite,’ said a source to The Mirror.‘It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act which, obviously, should remain behind closed doors.

’Lindsay was desperate to start 2010 off on a good footing and this is the very last thing she needs. If and when it is released on the internet, via a spurious, unofficial website, there is absolutely nothing she or her lawyers can do about it.’

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