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Vortex Vibrations ; horny housewife recommends sex with hoover

Is there anything less sexy than housework? Any greater passion killer than knowing the whole place needs to be vacuumed before you can get your head (and everything else) down? Well no longer.

American housewife and mother-of-three Joanne Drysdale has finally brought together the worlds of household cleanliness and screaming orgasms with the Vortex Vibrations, a sex-toy extension for your vacuum cleaner that she claims can bring you to climax in seconds. Unlikely as it sounds, and it does sound pretty unlikely, there are plenty of happy customers on their website; "Considering the speed in which I achieved climax, you could easily vacuum your whole house and get off a good many times" said one satified suction fan. For once though, bigger isn't necessarily better. "A 1200 watt vacuum or above has been unpleasant to all testers", Joanne explains helpfully.

Still, it shows an admirable sense of multi-tasking. And guys, this is the only time it's ever acceptable to buy a wife or girlfriend an extension for the Hoover as a Christmas present.

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