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Upgrading a bad lay

We'd be the first to admit it: sometimes, we lost it well and truly. Not our ever-precarious mental state but the manual. The sex manual, where you note down everything from the impressive moves that drive women wild with just a flick of the tongue, to the real no-no's for guys, that might involve something large going where it shouldn't. But then again, there are times when it feels like the manual's written in Chinese anyway!

But we shouldn't be afraid as first-night fear-sufferers as there is some advice online that we're hoping people will take on board to help them re-educate the hapless amongst us, Sexis reveals. From avoiding using the accusation 'you're a bad lay' to being aware of possibly becoming a 'sex facist', there's help here for everyone:

'Don't cover everything at once; work on such delicate issues in stages. Play little games that save the sex but spare the ego. One night, focus on activities that provide lots of skin-to-skin contact without requiring sex — like a full body massage. This provides an opportunity to enjoy your partner physically without fretting that they will ruin it once the sex commences — and it gives them a lesson in sensual finesse.'

Finesse. The name of the game here, and not something usually associated with a night down at the pub, coming back drunk and attempting some porn-star type moves. We're taking note.

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