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Crackhead Charlie

So, if your parents disapprove of your boyfriend when you bring him home to meet the folks - maybe after the first 8 or 9 dates - it could be down to a number of critical factors. Playing with the fine cuisine your mother has prepared might put him on the same cerebral level as several primates you saw trying to hump each other at your local zoo. On the other hand, making pretentious pseudo-sophisticated comments about Picasso and Mozart might make him seem like a fusty professor who is dead from the waist down.

The answer? Prep your parents beforehand by introducing them to the (now sold out) Crackhead Charlie inflatable (sex) doll, modeled on that most infamous of Hollywood personalities, Charlie Sheen. As Perez Hilton advises, the doll has a certain mystique air about it, suggesting girls might want to pretend that they are sleeping with the real deal, which is to say a slightly womanising, drug-fueled comic actor. But why?

Because 'you don’t have to be a slutty porn goddess to party with this radical rockstar from Mars! Just add air and this neurotic nutjob will show you his two and half personalities, warlock, fangs, fire-breathing fists and Adonis DNA. Don’t be a foolish little troll, experience the bitchin’ drug they call Charlie and let him rock your world!'

Seems to me that in preparing your parents for actually meeting your real boyfriend by means of this tragic doll decoy, you may end up with your parents forming a family intervention and packing you off to the Betty Ford clinic to cure you of your penchant for porno, prize-winning assholes. Epic fail.

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