Rumour has it that a sex tape featuring Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria and her hubbie, NBA star Tony Parker, is circulating somewhere in cyberspace. Connoisseurs of video entertainment are salivating, anticipating an offering in the style of Pamela Anderson or Paris Hilton. Does the Eva ‘n’ Tony tape really exist? We haven’t a clue.
We have, however, a few ideas for the essential ingredients of a really red hot sex tape:
• The tape needs to feature at least one person who at least two out of 10 Brits have heard of.
• Lighting should be minimal.
• Camera angles should be shaky.
• Assuming participants in the tape are heterosexual, the woman must be pneumatic and the man reasonably well endowed. Or vice versa.
• The tape should always be stolen and put on the internet by a burglar/disgruntled ex-employee/jealous former partner/an estranged participant.
Good luck, and happy taping!