Perez Hilton has The Clap

Web samurai Perez Hilton, aka The Queen of All Media, aka P Nasty has branched out into a new area of expertise. Handing out advice about sexually transmitted diseases via the medium of song.

The self styled man whore has laid a track called 'The Clap' which extols the virtues of safe sex in a cheerily gruesome type of way. The The P-ripping pop chant is backed up by tweenie style syntho beats and silly chorusing, and the lyrics have a similar feel to the type of sexual health books that used to get handed out in PSE to stop teenagers bonking in class - only much much worse. It's a bit like watching a really digusting porno with your parents in the room.Check out the lyrics, then singalong.

"Spring break there are no rules gonna do it by the pool get drunk break a' dawn this is how I get it on. Rub some lotion on my back massage it down into my crack the day is young and I am hung spring break is so much fucking fun. But let me tell you kids what my mom told me…

When you love someone take it slow don't let them rape your bussy-hole cause if he's not wrapped you're ass is trapped and you'll end up with the clap CLAP gonorrhea.Smelly whores on the shore love to take it on all fours. Dirty sluts in the club wanna get their coochies rubbed. When you're back at motel 6 you're craving cock must get its fix gang bang squeal and moan porno stars your daddy's home.But let me tell you kids what Jesus says…

When you love someone let it show tell him that you're a trashy ho. if you got a sling and that's your thing that's how your priest got the clap.Gonnorhea, chlamydia, herpes and scabies I don't care if you've got crabs, I wanna have your babies I'll be your dirty doctor, and I'll nurse you when you're sick And when you're feeling better, I am gonna milk your dick.

Sperminate me i'll be the next pregnant man, you'll see us on oprah and we'll live happily ever after…and then she'll marry us and give us a free honeymoon to hawaii because she's oprah and that's what she does. But let me tell you kids what Oprah says…

When you love someone you will know he'll give your face that special glow but when his love grows stale, call up Gayle cause she doesn't have the clap CLAP gonorrhea. Everybody sing along let's go back to the start of the song ready mom?........"

Perez Hilton 'The Clap'

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