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No no for moans and groans

Turning the sound down in your private office won't help you at work if you suddenly find yourself with an urge for a solo quickie: a new break-through in audio detection software for monitoring the internet means that the orgasmic cries and mumblings that accompany pretty much all skin flicks can be picked up and such films blocked before they even reach your computer screen.

Thanks to two electrical engineers, MyungJong Kim and Hoirin Kim, at the Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology in Daejeon, South Korea, a new audio filter mechanism called the 'Radon Transform' kicks in when it registers soundtracks that are 'higher-pitched, change quickly and also periodically repeat', New Scientist reveals.

Previous techniques to block online smut included image-based detection systems that sent up a red flag when the viewer downloaded films that portrayed large areas of skin-tone and flesh-like colouring. Which resulted in close-up photos of family members and images of people swimming were instantly shut-down.

''It's quite ingenious,' says Richard Harvey, a computer scientist at the University of East Anglia in Norwich, UK, who previously worked on image-based pornography detection. But image-based methods are no less accurate, he says, and only require a single frame whereas the performance of the audio method needs to analyse longer clips.'

Let's hope you don't try to download audio clips of bird-song - you could be landed in corporate hot-water very quickly!

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