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Get wood, keep wood

This is a news story with so many happy consequences, that its well and truly raised our spirits today in the Excite Offices, as well as giving the guys in the office the excuse to have something else rise in the privacy of their own home after work. Introducing a new product on the sex market that will not only protect you and your partner from STDs, prevent pregnancy but also help men to maintain their erection: viagra-condoms. Triple win!

The gel inside the condoms, which functions as a vasodilator, will be absorbed through the penis when the condom is put on and will function as a redirector of blood-flow, ensuring it reaches all the right areas vital for horizontal mamboing. The prototypes are being manufactured by Futura Plc Ltd, and will be marketed through Durex, the Wall Street Journal tells us:

'Analysts say the condoms, which contain a gel that helps men maintain a firmer erection for a longer time, could have a significant impact on the condom market, where innovation is rare and patent-protected inventions are infrequent.'

An additional win for the economy there. Forget the Royal Wedding Street parties and have a right royal celebration between the sheets. Just remember to record the televised service if you think you might run over time.

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