An unnamed 34-year-old man has suffered minor injuries and a big dent in his pride, after a boozing session ended with him naked and impaled on a rusty old spike. As so often happens.
After downing drinks with his missus and a couple of mates near Haslar Lake close to Gosport in Hampshire, the man decided to slip out of all his clothes and go for a bit of commando sunbathing. The alcohol inevitably found its way to his bladder, and the swaying naturist stumbled off for a leak. As he emptied himself, he slipped and rogered himself straight through the groin on an 8-inch iron post. Quite a sobering thought one would imagine.
The emergency services sped to the scene and were initially going to go all 999 action on him and cut him out of his pickle (or at least cut his pickle out) but they realised they could actually lift him off the impaling railing and whisked him to hospital in Portsmouth for treatment instead. And some clothes out of lost property.
Bet he felt a right turkey. At least he now knows exactly what 8-inches actually looks and feels like eh?