Masturbation addict asks police to give him a hand

A 20-year-old American man addicted to masturbating in public thanked police for catching him knocking one out in a drive-thru coffee shop. The Washington State native said that he needs help with his predilection for spanking the monkey in front of an unsuspecting audience.

Back in February of this year Baristas in the town of Monroe began reporting sightings of the one handed driver at a number of espresso stands. Local police busted the compulsive chicken choker last week mid wank and arrested him. The man said that his addiction to shining the pork bishop in coffee shops came from an addiction to internet porn.

'Once you start, it's hard to stop,' the latte loving flasher told the police. The foam on the top of our cappuccino is never going to taste the same after this.

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