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Look out, Transformers!

Well, it's official: us at the Excite Towers have well and truly been there, seen that (although not literally) and got the t-shirt when it comes to all things libidinous. Our t-shirt in particular says: 'No Sex please, we're Sex writers.'

Step forward Edward Smith, a brave yet some might say confused soul who has professed his undying love and amorous fidelity to beings with four wheels, a steering wheel and a petrol tank, the Daily Telegraph tells us.

That's right, Mr. Smith is a mechaphiliac with absolutely no desire to sleep with a conventional woman (two arms, two legs and a set of air bags), remaining happily devoted to girlfriend 'Vanilla', a white, bestickered Volkswagen Beetle.

Mr Smith proclaims: 'Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.'

'I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change.'

'He added: 'I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference.''

Our interest peaked when Mr. Smith claimed not to want to have sex with women anymore. Let's just say it's an issue about lubrication and leave it at that.

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