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Kiss my wrapper

Condoms are the last point of negotiation between new couples. You've maybe had a few dates, a comfortable night in watching films and some wine to help things along and finally, you're upstairs fumbling with straps, trousers, zips and buttons and then it arrives, the final last impression you can make before getting your groove on. If it's a 'glow in the dark' design, you can bet your bottom dollar (the one you didn't spend on the condom machine) that your other half might actually prefer not to have the lights on, due to morbid embarrassment.

And so it seems that because plastic wrappers are so important and you want to make a good first impression – let's face it, you probably think you don't need to impress after the first time, you big-head, you – there should be a classy, up-market design to purchase. And if those anti-baby makers feature rock-stars, well, that could boost your own performance, by association of course. Enter 'Kiss' condoms, the Huffington Post presents.

'Graphic Armor Inc.'s new Picture Condoms meet all FDA requirements and it claims they're the first to feature full-color images on the latex. They're starting with a condom branded with the rock band Kiss that shows Gene Simmons' tongue unfurled. Another Kiss version featuring bandmate Paul Stanley is slated for June.'

Just make sure you buy the right advertisement or image on your condom. Nothing says 'first-time virgin' like Darth Vader brandishing an over-sized light-saber on your prophylactic. And trust me, that would take up more room on the condom than you might have in length to fill it out.

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