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Horny bullseye

Owning a dairy farm is quite the hazardous occupation – all the early starts, big machinery, plus there are always the affections of amorous bulls to contend with.

Which is exactly the problem a farmer in Poland (why are these stories so often from there?) found himself in. 68-year-old Stan Markowski was hospitalised after a bull took quite a fancy to him at his farm in Wies Dlugie in the east of the country. The horny – in every way – monster caught smell of the scent of the lady cows the farmer had just been handling and figured he was on for some in season, hot lady lovin’, bovine boffing action.

Poor old Stan tried to get away from the randy beast who then gave chase and tossed him all around the field (not like that.....come on now, it’s a bull with hooves). Luckily Markowski finally got away, but not before he’d had all of his clothes ripped off.

"He managed to get away and ran home - completely naked, terrified and bleeding." said his daughter Danuta. Which to be honest is something no daughter should ever see.

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