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Creme de la crema

We admire our brethren who work in the Excite offices in Italy. For them, coffee is the morning manna from heaven, a dark, seductive concoction that rattles the senses and brings them to a full and upright attentive state at any time in the morning. How do they feel about their sex-lives without coffee? We doubt that they need a quick espresso pick-me-up before they get-it-up, but a powerful and regular intake of coffee can only increase performance in the sack, can't it?

Well, according to debates outlined in a new book 'Coffee: Grounds for Debate', all possible benefits and afflictions caused by the South American substitute for tea are possible, leaving the bemused reader, and possible addict to struggle through which effects he or she might be experiencing on a regular basis. More from the Guardian:

'Is it a pernicious brew that causes impotence, arterio-sclerosis, heart failure, indigestion, insomnia, premature old age, pancreatic cancer, birth defects and bad breath, as well as poverty among the farmers who grow it? Or is it an inky nectar that helps prevent Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, liver cancer, gallstones, type 2 diabetes and colon cancer, improves motor skills and reaction times, promotes fair trade to the impoverished south and stimulates both intellectual acuity and social interaction?'

A group set up called the Women's Petition Against Coffee recently met with a barbed response from male advocates of the bean, stating that there was absolutely no degenerative effects that coffee had on sexual performance. Only that whilst their ejaculations tended to be more vigorous, sperm that was released during each ... (ahem)episode, might have been damaged by travelling at too fast a rate. Coffee cup half full or half empty?

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