Cop a feel

A support officer who was spotted having a fiddle in his car parked on a busy road in Penge, told the court he wasn’t bashing one out, but was simply taking a particularly rigorous piss.

The witness said she the rapid hand movement that she could see from her second storey window looked distinctly like something more sinister. She called her boyfriend to investigate and he confirmed her fears and called the police.

As sirens approached, the community support officer finished up and left the scene of the crime - the case continues.

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