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Happy with the clap

If we look at Darwinism and the Theory of Natural Selection, those boys who are so excited at the prospect of getting inside some girls knickers, but who are possessed of the worst case of 'butter-fingers' ever would technically stand less chance of 'having it off' and therefore of procreating. The genes for 'butterfingery' wouldn't perpetuate and therefore we would have no need for a bra that undoes itself at the sound of a clap.

But until that perfect age, where clothes are removed just by thought alone, we have an invention by zany creator Randy Sarafan, who has invented an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder capable of releasing itself from its wearer as soon as someone claps, Asylum reveals.

'Randy [...] says he came up with the idea after hearing about wacky electronic underwear, which is said to be popular in Syria. Writing in an online guide on how to make the clap activated bra (no you can't get it in M&S) he said: 'It became my mission to fast-forward lingerie technology in the West.'The article of lingerie that resonated most with my inner sensibilities was the clap-off bra.'

Caution: if the image of your man willfully clapping his hands in order to undress you doesn't turn you on ladies, you may be preventing a certain number of idiot genes being passed on to future generations. Those genes that might have purchased the bra for you in the first place!

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