Breaking Bells

Broken penis cases in Jamaica have tripled because of a new dance craze which has the disturbing name of daggering. It's a bit heavy on the thrusting with the solid sausage, if you get what we're saying.

You don't? Well essentially it's like your furtive attempts to press your old chap up against a girl during Mysterious Girl at your school mate's house parties, only a lot more overt, with a lot more thrusting and more likely to result in dong damage.

People are even trying it in the bedroom with their women, and are quite breaking their balls (well the bit just above them in any case). Not only that, they're making us wince – apparently nob nobbling involves sharp, searing pain, following by intense swelling and black and blue bruising. Owwweeeeeeee.

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