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Bikini killjoys

South Africa has moved to stamp out a practice that’s been growing in popularity among wealthy business tycoons and socialites – that of eating sushi off the body of a model in a bikini.

A statement on Monday from the African National Congress secretary general Gwede Mantashe was damning of the fishy practice: ‘This act is anti-ANC and anti-revolutionary. This act is defamatory, insensitive and undermining of woman's integrity,’ he railed.

The South African media have been agog at the mounting Sushigate scandal in recent months. Johannesburg newspapers reported on Monday that the head of the ANC's powerful youth league had only that weekend attended a party at which a suspicious amount of raw fish and bikini-clad models were present.

Mantashe added: ‘The ANC is not into nightclubs or partying, but it is a revolutionary movement.’

Rumours that Silvio Berlusconi ordered job lots of sushi for consumption at Bunga Bunga sex parties have not been confirmed.

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