Aussie couple crash during "amorous activities"

An Australian woman suspected of causing a 33-year-old male to crash his pickup truck by gobbling his manhood has denied the accusations.

Local police in the beautifully named town of Humpty Doo believe that "amorous activities" caused the accident with the driver of a Toyota Hilux "distracted by the female passenger and veered into a concrete drain on the opposite side of the road".

"It is believed that the driver and his passenger were engaged in amorous activities at the time of the accident. Whilst there may be a humorous element to this incident there is also a very serious one and that is the devastating consequences that can result from inattentive driving," Police Duty Superintendent John Emeny told reporters.

However, the woman involved in the incident, Allyson White, told the Northern Territory News that: "I was not ****ing his **** - and it's pretty obvious that wasn't the case ... you only have to look at the mark on my chest. Clearly I had my seat belt on, so it's impossible I'd be leaning over ****ing his ***** unless he is hung like a donkey or I've got a ******* rubber neck."

The silver tongued Ms. White continued: "If it was true I'd just cop it sweet and think 'how embarrassing, I got caught ****ing someone's ****'. But it is not true and that's what is p***ing me off. It didn't happen like that at all - he was just going too fast."

White did admit, however, that she understood why the police could have come to the conclusion that they did: "It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my 'girls' were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something ... but $5 is a bit cheap for a **** job." That's one classy lady.

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